Sonicview SV360 Premier Giveaway for all members

[Satellite hunter]

Hello everyone,

Here is the contest for all members, except Staff. Regular members can enter 5 posts (jokes) per user, V.I.P memebers, Visiting Mod/Admin, Site Helper or Visting Site Helper can enter up to 10 posts (jokes) per user on this thread. The member with the last post on this thread at 4:00 PM EST or 1:00 PM PST on Sep 30th will win the receiver.

If you are a Regular member and win this contest, you will also receive one full year VIP membership. If you are already VIP, your VIP membership will be extended for another year.

The winner will win a Sonicview 360 Premier and it will be shipped from Viewsats.com. The contest will end at the end of this month.


Thread will be closed at 4:00 PM EST or 1:00 PM PST on Sep 30th

Sonicview SV360 Premier Specifications

• Fully MPEG-2 & DVB-S Supported
• Blind Scan Supported
• 2 USB 2.0 Ports for External HDD and USB Memory Stick
• S/PDIF for Digital Audio / Dolby AC-3 Bitstream Output
• RCA and Components Outputs : Y, Pb, Pr
• S-Video Output
• USAL Supported
• 16 Bit (65,536) Colors & User Friendly GUI for Easy Control
• Fast Booting and Scan Speed
• Signal & Multi-Satellite Auto Scan
• Manual Scan Supported
• High Speed Channel Changing Time
• 6,000 Channel Memory Capacity for TV and Radio Programs
• 8 Programmable Favorite Channel List Groups
• Channel Sorting by FTA, CAS, Satellite, Alphabetical and Network
• Picture in Graphic Available
• Zoom In / Out function for TV
• Various Aspect Ratio with 4:3, Letter Box, Full Screen & 16:9
• Background Graphic Display for Radio Program Channels
• Parental Lock Function Using Master PIN Code
• 20 Step Volume Control
• Useful Remote Key Functions for Channel Find, Edit and Signal Strength Display
• Record, Playback and Time Shift Supported Using External HDD
• Powerful Trick Mode Supported Using External HDD
• Music and Photo File Supported

[SatelliteGuy1982]

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

[SatelliteGuy1982]

There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

[altagent]

A British man was driving down the road and he sees a hitch hiker standing there with three eyes, no arms and one leg. He pulls over and rolls down the window and says: AYE AYE AYE, YOU LOOK ARMLESS, HOP IN

[snitzhel]

RETIREMENT

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come
back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.'

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair
on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability,
too/'

And then the fight started ...

[snitzhel]

Accidents

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

[snitzhel]

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

[snitzhel]

Blonde with grenade
Q : what do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you ?

A : Pull the pin out and throw it back.

[Ripley1250]

sept 30th or sept 31 it will close...The member with the last post on this thread at 4:00 PM EST or 1:00 PM PST on Sep 30th will win the receiver. Thread will be closed at 4:00 PM EST or 1:00 PM PST on Sep 31th

[SatelliteGuy1982]

It will end the 30th. the 31st is just a typo

[Grasshopper]

Originally Posted by slapnuts198223

It will end the 30th. the 31st is just a typo

Corrected it to 30th

[xiangsuoliu]

Is it better than captiview networks 600P?

[xiangsuoliu]

What is difference among various receivers?

[Fastfrde]

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says: 'This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache.'

Wife replies: 'I think you'll find that is a sheep.'

Man replies: 'I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep'

[mr shady]

xiangsuoliu

This thread is for winnig a receiver next time please start a new thread asking about it yes this is a nice receiver please read the review below in my signature where it says RECEIVER REVIEWS! thanks hope you understand!

[sbird]

Sensible Observations


1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car.'
--Author Unknown



2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 'Take two aspirin' and 'Keep away from children.'
--Author Unknown



3) 'Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.'
--Drew Carey



4) 'The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into
doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house.'
--Jeff Foxworthy

5) 'If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.'
--Dave Barry



6) 'Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.'
--Bob Ettinger



7) 'My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.''
--Paula Poundstone



8) 'A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'
--Conan O'Brien



9) 'Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.'
--Lynda Montgomery



10) 'I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough.
Let's go west.''
--Richard Jeni



11) 'If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead.'
--Johnny Carson



12) 'Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.'
--Paul Rodriguez



13) 'My parents didn't want to move to Florida ,
but they turned sixty and that's the law.'
--Jerry Seinfeld



14) 'Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?'
--Warren Hutcherson



15) 'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same.'
--Oscar Wilde



16) 'Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.'
--Mark Twain



17) 'Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan '
--A. Whitney Brown



18) 'You can say any foolish thing to a dog,
and the dog will give you a look that says,
'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!''
--Dave Barry



19) Do you know why they call it 'PMS'?
Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken.
-- Unknown, presumed deceased



20) 'Everybody's got to believe in something.
I believe I'll have another beer.'
--W. C. Fields: Died of Alcoholism



And lastly: Why should I have to 'Press 1 for English?'
--Every American

[avinator]

this sucks for me i wont be home by the time this ends arrrg no chance on winning this....but good luck to everyone thoe

[santareg]

OOPS................

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...... well, you get the picture! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.

'Hello,' the woman says.
God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.¢

[santareg]

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

[santareg]

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure yo ur comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible . I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!