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Old 09-05-2015, 06:27 AM   #1241
deadmen
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Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: "You're too young to smoke."
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Old 09-05-2015, 07:18 AM   #1242
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Thanks Linkbox USA

"If the music’s too loud you’re too old."
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Old 09-05-2015, 07:52 AM   #1243
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ugh..........
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Old 09-05-2015, 08:03 AM   #1244
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I decided to put together one of my five-year-old son's model kits one wet afternoon. I found one of a dinosaur and was looking over the pieces when he passed by.

"What'cha doing, Dad?" he asked.

I told him I was going to put the dinosaur together, but the instructions were missing. "Well, Dad," he grinned, "I guess you'll just have to do it from memory."

<<
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Old 09-05-2015, 04:36 PM   #1245
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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook. "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed soley by his arm."
"Well put," the judge replied with a grin. "Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's help, he detatched his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.
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Old 09-05-2015, 05:17 PM   #1246
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******* Moonlighter #2 *******






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Old 09-05-2015, 05:17 PM   #1247
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now
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